Bob's Blog

A friend of mine says this all the time.  It’s her motto — “Choose love, not fear!”  And I have to confess it has grown on me over the years.

As I attempt to critically look at my life, I’m surprised at how often fear appears to be motivating my attitudes and actions.  In recent years, love has certainly taken on a more prominent role; but every now and then fear still creeps in and causes me to think and behave in ways that frighten me. 

Fear is everywhere in our politics today.  The left is afraid that the right doesn’t just want to reduce the number of abortions in this country, but rather eliminate the right altogether.  The right is afraid that the left doesn’t just want stronger restrictions on gun ownership, but that they want take all guns, away from all people.  And our elected officials are afraid to compromise too much on a given issue, believing that if they do, they’ll be voted out of office for not having backbone or conviction.  

And things are just as frightening on the international scene.  We don’t hear much about MAD today, but the whole concept of ‘Mutual Assured Destruction’ is rooted in fear, and continues to impact much of American foreign policy, as well as the foreign policy of other nations.  One country ceases the use of chemical weapons out of fear over what other countries might do in return; and another country is cautious in it’s dealings with it’s enemies because it is fearful of it’s enemies’ friends!   

On a much smaller and far more personal scale, we hide from friends and family out of fear that if we’re too honest about who we really are, we might be rejected and find ourselves all alone.  We wear masks, succumb to peer pressure, fail to speak up, choose not to push, and avoid taking a stand . . . all out of fear.   It both guides our minds and guards our hearts, and thus leads us to behave in ways that are fraught with dis-ease.  

But no where is fear more prominent than in the church.  I was raised to believe that if I folded my hands a certain way in prayer, I would make God cry.  I was told that if I didn’t believe that God worked miracles in the world today that I was ‘grieving’ the Holy Spirit.  And, I was told that if I didn’t invite Jesus into my heart (whatever that means!) I wouldn’t be able to spend eternity with him!  Once again, fear was used to motivate me to pray a certain way, accept certain truths, and embrace certain beliefs.  And so due to my fear — of making God sad, offending the Spirit, or not going to heaven when I die — I followed all the rules and learned to be a nice, obedient, and faithful little boy.

But lately, I’ve grown  weary of allowing fear to dominate my life in these ways.   I can no longer believe things that just don’t make theological or intellectual sense.  I don’t want to do things simply because I’m afraid of the consequences if I don’t!  And I’m unwilling to stop being the person I believe I was created to be because I’m afraid I won’t be liked by my friends and/or my family.

When I — when WE — allow love to be the motivating force in our lives, we, as well as though around us, live in much healthier ways.  When love, not fear, motivates my interaction with those who don’t have the same politics as I do, I’m more willing to listen than to speak, more willing to try and understand their point of view, rather than to get them to embrace mine.  When love, not fear, motivates my relationship with my friends, honesty and authenticity reigns, and the grace that others show me, is returned in equal measure.  And when love, not fear, motivates my understanding of and walk with God, my understanding of other religions grows, and my respect for people of other faiths deepens. 

One of the first Scripture verses I remember memorizing when I was little is from 1 Timothy: “God didn’t give us the spirit of fear, but of love and of power and of sound mind.” Perhaps I need to start reciting those words again. Perhaps I need to stop allowing my life to be governed by fear. Perhaps I need to learn to better embrace the spirit of love.

Yes! Perhaps I do. Perhaps we ALL do!

“We don’t see it as socialism.  We just see it as being civil to one another!”

That’s how the young Danish woman responded to the label that the reporter had given to the vast array of social programs that exist in what has been proclaimed the “Happiest Nation.”  I heard it several years ago and have not forgotten it; and not JUST because my wife happens to be a Dane.  I have not forgotten the woman’s words because I see so much incivility in America!  The gun violence on our streets, the bullying in our schools, the stubborn extremism in our politics — I am reminded every day of how uncivil we in the “Most Powerful Nation” tend to be towards one another.  And I can’t help but wonder why.

Meredith Melnick recently reported in a piece for “The Third Metric: Redefining Success Beyond Money and Power” that one of the reason countries rank high on the ‘happiness scale’ has a great deal to do with the way they care for one another.  “Danes feel a responsibility for one another,” she writes.  “(They) don’t prioritize social security and safety simply so they can receive benefits; there’s a real sense of collective responsibility and belonging.”  As a result, Danes support parents, with the average parental leave at 52 weeks; in contrast to America’s 10.3 weeks, which is only for mothers.  Because health care is seen as a basic human right, Danes see their physician an average of 7 times per year, and preventive care is provided at the lowest and thus least expensive level of support.   Further, in spite of the harshness of the weather, Danes bike and exercise more than most, which leads not only to a healthier and more fit populous, but a cleaner environment for all.  And the battle for gender equality was fought and won long ago in Denmark, creating a society where women contribute as much as 38% of the income in Danish households.  Further, because Danish woman were given the vote before women in most other nations, there are high numbers of female political representatives and the current Prime Minister is a woman — Helle Thorning-Schmidt.  Danes are also involved in the political process, with 88% of the country having voted in the last election. 

Yes, Danes care for one another.  And as a result, they are happier.  Who would have thought that their might actually be some objective evidence that living out the great commandment DOES in fact lead to happiness and contentment in this life! 

Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourselves; and the message of the Hebrew Scriptures is that indeed we ARE the keepers of our sisters and brothers.  Genesis makes it clear that it is not good for us to be alone.  We need one another, for it DOES take a village to raise a child . . . and to nurture an adolescent, support an adult, and care for the aged.  If Christianity and all the major religions of the world are about anything, they are about community.  And it all begins with seeing the spark of the Divine in everyone.  It begins when we recognize that we’re all in this together, and none of us can really succeed, unless everyone succeeds. 

Danes understand this.  And it’s not about socialism; it’s about learning to be civil towards one another.  And such living can and does lead to happiness.   Unfortunately, too many in this country that I call home continue to be more interested in power than happiness.  And until that changes, incivility will reign on our streets and in the halls of Congress, and we will be a nation that is more powerful, than happy. 

The Danes?  They’ll be riding their bikes, with their families, to the local bakery, enjoying a good coffee and a delicious pastry. 

Are they powerful?  Not really.  But boy are they happy! 

My daughter was in Italy last weekend!

She’s studying abroad this semester, and naturally doing a great deal of traveling.  So last weekend they went to Rome.  She’s posted pictures of the Coliseum, the Vatican, the Spanish Steps, and yes . . . the wine! 

There are pictures of her having wine with her gnocchi, wine with her penne, and wine with her linguini.  And oh yeah . . . she won’t be 21 until December!

Now I know it doesn’t matter in Europe, and I have no concerns about her ability to only drink in moderation, but I still value the laws of America that make drinking under the age of 21 illegal.  I don’t have a problem with alcohol.  I don’t want to return to the days of prohibition and make it completely illegal.  I don’t even want to go back to the days when it couldn’t be purchased on Sunday.  There is nothing wrong with having a drink now and then and I get that! 

But I still like the restrictions!  I still like the fact that you have to be over the age of 21 — so that you’re a little more mature, and a little more responsible.  That is certainly not always the case — I know plenty of 40 year olds who have about as much maturity as some of my college fraternity brothers.  And that’s not very much!  But generally, the older someone is, the more capable we believe they are of making good decisions when it comes to alcohol consumption.

I also like the fact that if you’re going to drink, you can’t drive.  And if you do and you’re caught, you’re going to get a ticket.  And if that happens too many times, your license is going to be taken away and you won’t be permitted to drive at all!  Drinking is fine.  But if you’re under the age of 21, you do not have that right.  And you certainly do NOT have the right to drink and drive.  And as a society we’re going to do everything we can to prevent that from happening! 

Aren’t we?

Which brings me to the whole subject of the recent shooting at the Navy Yard in downtown Washington, DC. 

My son likes guns. 

When he was little he loved pretending he was a cowboy.  And when my wife and I decided that we would not purchase toy guns for him to play with, we bought him Legos. 

So he made guns out of his Legos!  And not just Legos — he made guns out of the cardboard centers of paper towel rolls, out of sticks he would find in our backyard, and even out of wire hangers that he’d take from our closets. 

Now I know it’s no big deal that he likes guns.  He’s responsible, and I know that he would never hurt anyone with them.  And my gun-toting hunting friends are just as kind and considerate as my non-gun-toting, non-hunting friends.  I even know that most people who own guns in this country are responsible, law-abiding citizens. 

So I don’t want to take away any of their guns.  I don’t want to make gun ownership illegal, nor do I want to in any way deny Americans their second amendment rights to ‘keep and bear arms.’ 

But I still like some of the restrictions that surround gun ownership. 

There are too many crazies out there — people who have all kinds of mental illnesses, people who have histories of violent behavior, people who . . . ‘hear voices.’  More thorough background checks is not the first step in some kind of grand political agenda to disarm the American populous.  And tightening up laws so that purchasing a gun is never easier than getting a drivers license is not part of some naïve dream that we can take all guns off the streets of American cities.  

I would just prefer to err on the side of caution.  The mass killings by crazed gunmen in this country have just gotten to be too much.  Something must be done.  We’ve argued enough.  We’ve debated enough.  We can’t wait any longer. 

So call your Senators and Representatives.  Speak up.  Let them know that you’re tired of seeing news reports of people being violently murdered  . . . on college campuses, in elementary schools, in movie theaters, and in government office buildings.  Tell them that it’s time to take away the guns — NOT FROM EVERYONE — just from the those who simply have no “right” to bear arms.   

Neither wine nor guns are bad — but without restrictions, both can be harmful.  So we don’t need make wine illegal, nor do we need to outlaw gun ownership.  We just need strong and firm convictions on what is means to use them, and what it means to abuse them.  

Some people shouldn’t drink,  And some people shouldn’t own guns.   

“Sorry we’re late,” they said, “we had trouble parking.”

“No problem.  Parking around here is a bear,’ I said.  “Come on in and relax.”

“Thanks.”

“My wife made some brownies and iced tea, can I get you something?”

“How about some water,” they replied.

“Are you sure?” I said.  “The ice tea is decaffeinated!”

“Water is good.  It’s very hydrating . . .”

And so began my meeting with my two new Mormon friends!  I had done all my homework, and I was now ready to love them no matter what! 

They asked if I had read the brochure they had left with me three days earlier, and I said that I had.  They asked if I had any questions about any of it and I said that I did not.  So they pulled out their Books of Mormon – books that were fatter than any Bible I had ever seen – and I immediately thought of Sam Harris’ quote in “The End of Faith.” 

It seems that if our species ever eradicates itself through war, it will not be

because it  was written in the stars but because it was written in our books;

it is what we do with words like “God” and “paradise” and “sin” in the

present that will determine our future.

We spoke for more than 90 minutes;  and although I wish I could say that we discussed important matters of faith and God, grace and mercy, justice and love, such topics were apparently not on the agenda.  Instead, like so many fundamentalists, they had their own talking points and carefully sought to guide and direct the conversation toward . . . more important issues.  So we talked about the picture of the Arian looking shepherd holding a lamb on the cover of their brochure, and they proceeded to explain how Jesus takes us from the apostate world, and safely comforts us in his loving and protective arms.  We talked about the necessity of being baptized by a ‘real’ prophet of God, following in the Aaronic footsteps of John the Baptist, who had been chosen by our “Father in Heaven.”  And we talked about sin, and evil, and apostasy; about humanity’s separation from God, and our need to believe correct teachings in order for us to return to that place from which we came in the first place – heaven.  And . . . yadda, yadda, yadda! 

I truly did go into the meeting with the intent to just show them the love of Christ!  I really did think that if they just saw that my life was not all that different from their own, that they would skip the attempt to persuade me to believe as they do.  I naively believed that if they could just see that my core beliefs were really just like theirs, that they would see me as a person with whom they could engage as a fellow traveling companion who was seeking to know God and follow in the ways of Jesus just like they were, and not as just another perspective convert.  

But like far too many in the world today – Evangelical Christian, Radical Muslim, Militant Atheist – creed was elevated above deed, and belief was put ahead of behavior.  Forget the fact that I, just like them, sought to seek justice, love mercy and walk humbly.  Forget the fact that I, just like them, sought to love God and neighbor.  Forget the fact that I, just like them, valued family, loved my country, and . . . didn’t smoke or swear! 

In the end, it all boiled down to what I believed – about Noah and the Ark, about Jesus’ virgin birth, about the vision of Joseph Smith, and about God’s restoration of the Gospel thru a new Church, born in the most important nation on the earth . . . America.  (Because, after all, if God really DID visit the earth, of course He would come to America!)  Most importantly, it was really all about “The Book of Mormon”, and whether I believe what it said, or not! 

They’re coming back on Thursday.  So once again, I’ll sit, and politely listen, and gently try and challenge these two passionate and faithful young men to . . . JUST THINK . . . about what they’re saying.  My hope is that they, like so many zealots in the world today, will come to see that followers of Jesus are NOT people of the book – we are people of the WAY!  And that WAY, is the WAY of Jesus – a way that can recognized by the love we have for one another; a way that acknowledges and celebrates the fact that we will be known NOT by our beliefs, but by our behavior, not even by our faith, but by our fruit.

Fruit!

Maybe that’s what I can offer them.  Forget the tea or the brownies – maybe I just need to stick to the fruit.   Maybe we all . . . just need to stick to the fruit!

I will certainly acknowledge theirs. I guess I just want them to acknowledge the little bit that I’m seeking to bear!     

How I wish Lauren Green worked for NBC . . . not because she is such a gifted and talented religion correspondent – I don’t know enough about her to say that . . . but because right now she works for FoxNews, and I do NOT want this to be an anti-Fox blog!

For the past several days I’ve read about and watched several clips of Lauren’s interview with Reza Aslan, author of the book, “Zealot: The life and times of Jesus of Nazareth.” Aslan is an internationally known religion scholar and author, who is fluent in New Testament Greek, and who actually claims in the opening pages of the book that his “two decades of rigorous academic research into the origins of Christianity has made (him) a more genuinely committed disciple of Jesus.” He made that clear again last night in an interview with Pierce Morgan when he stated that he passionately tries to follow Jesus’ example . . . and oh yeah, Aslan is also a person of the Muslim faith.

(By the way, did you also know that Ayaan Hirsi’ Ali, author of “Infidel” and “Nomad”, books that claim to expose Americans to the evils of Islam, is a devout Christian; and that Pat Robertson is a male heterosexual, who has a great deal to say about transgender issues and homosexuality; AND, that there is absolutely no record anywhere of Dr. Seuss, author of the classic Green Eggs and Ham, as ever having eaten green ham?)

Now most are in agreement that Green probably just asked the questions that she had been given. Her greatest failure was simply not doing the research needed for the interview. (The same kind of research she not surprisingly, failed to acknowledge in Aslan’s book!)She made the same mistake we’ve all made at some point in our careers and she shouldn’t be hung out to dry for it! Never the less, I still believe that her conversation with this brilliant and devout man of faith reveals several unfortunate attitudes that reign in too many segments of American Christianity today. And the attitudes leave me extremely confused.

Why do so many Christians think that every Muslim has an agenda that involves discrediting or maligning Christianity? Why do so many people treat education and educated people as the enemy? And why are so many so quick to see those who have different beliefs, as propagators of evil rather than fellow pilgrims on a similar journey?

As any religious scholar will affirm, and as most thoughtful people of most religious traditions will confess, Jesus was a great prophet, who has changed and continues to change the course of human history. Certainly this is true of people in the world’s
three great religions – Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. In his selfless life and senseless death, we have in Jesus a model for what can truly be said to have been a ‘Godly’ life. And I know countless people of all faiths who can and do affirm this – as well as many who claim to atheists! Our only disagreements, and I intentionally use the word ONLY because they were so unimportant to Jesus that he failed to ever address them – involves doctrines and laws created by men to control people, and to divide and separate nations and cultures. And frankly, these doctrines and laws – like Jesus’ being born of a virgin, his claims to be God, and his bodily resurrection – are issues that have divided even the Christian community since the first century!

So why do we think that a Muslim is not qualified to write about Jesus, or that if s/he does, it is with an agenda to discredit Jesus’ ministry? Further, why do we think that one who ‘studies’ faith, is somehow denying or negating the ‘experience’ of faith, and thus has little to teach us? And finally, why are we so afraid to acknowledge that even if someone does have a faith that is radically different from our own, they may still be moving closer to the same God that we love and serve?

How ironic, that so often these days, I find that I have more in common with people of other faiths, than I do with so many who claim to embrace the same faith that I do. I guess that’s why I’ve become a ‘zealot’ for progressive Christianity – because it’s the Christianity that I see in the life of Jesus.

Thanks Reza, for pointing that out!

“The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

They are words from the MLK Memorial in Washington, DC, and they’ve been pricking my conscience since I first read them several days ago. A little research has revealed that the quote is believed to have been written by – yes, a pastor! Theodore Parker, a Unitarian minister in the mid-19th century, composed a sermon on racial injustice that would foreshadow this nation’s 4 year civil war; and he included this phrase to motivate his listeners to action, and to keep them from giving up.

I’ve also discovered that this is one of President Barak Obama’s favorite quotes; and whether you support him or not, I believe this quote is an accurate reflection of his theology . . . as it is of mine!

I like Parker’s sentiments because of all that it implies about Jesus’ words that the kingdom of God is ‘at hand.’ The quote serves as a reminder that while at times . . . the wrong seems oft so strong . . . God is working God’s purposes out in creation. The Holy Spirit is still moving over the face of the earth, guiding and directing all that is toward that day when “justice will roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.” The words admonish and inspire me to stop waiting for life on the other side of eternity, and to make sure that I’m working on THIS side!

You see, for too long, the church has been preoccupied with . . . life on the other side. We’ve been so focused on heaven – a place we go when we die, where streets are paved with gold, where we’ll finally be reunited with all of our loved ones who have passed on, and where there really will be a mansion with our name on the front door – that we’ve neglected life here, in this world.

Rob Bell, in his book “Love Wins”, puts it best – “When we talk about heaven . . . it’s important that we begin with the categories and claims that people were familiar with in Jesus’ first-century Jewish world. (And) they did NOT (emphasis mine!) talk about the future as somewhere else, because they anticipated a coming day when the world would be restored, renewed, and redeemed and there would be peace on earth.”

Further, when asked about ‘eternal life,’ Jesus takes a question about ‘then’ and makes it about the kind of life that is being lived now! Why? Because his desire was the earth and heaven become one. His desire was that God’s will be done just as it is in heaven. His desire was, and still is, that whatever we believe about the future, would determine how we live in the present!

Friends, as we struggle with injustice, racism, homophobia, and countless other issues that lead many in the faith community to conclude that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, let’s all remember whose world this is. Remember that while the moral arc of the universe is indeed long, and hard, and while it may at times may appear to be bending in the wrong direction, it still leads to the heart of God. Good and Godly people are everywhere. And one day, justice WILL win.

So let’s keep working for the sake of the Gospel. Let’s continue to live into the kingdom that is at hand. Let’s do what all those bumper stickers tells us to do . . . to stop being so heavenly minded that we’re no earthly good . . . to be the change we long to see.

Actually, let’s just . . . BE THE CHURCH . . . for Christ’s sake!

Let’s just BE . . . the Church; and make heaven on earth, a reality for everyone!

Around the corner from my new home is the Landmark Mall.  I stopped by the other day to check it out and I’m sorry to say it was a very sad sight.  The two anchor stores — Macy’s and Sears — seemed busy enough, but the rest of the place was deserted.  It’s clear that the mall has seen it’s day, and that now it is just biding it’s time until some developer buys the land and bulldozes whatever is there in order to start over.  Unfortunately, at least for my family, the Landmark Mall is nothing more than landmark for something that was both outdated and irrelevant!

So it was no surprise when I discovered this week that next spring, a major portion of the mall is going to be demolished so that a new, outdoor, ‘mixed-use town center’ can be built in it’s place.  Macy’s and Sears will stay right where they are; but the landscape around them will be altered to reflect the needs of an ever-changing community, brining beauty, relevance, and new life to an institution that was mired in the past.  So as a new resident to this part of Alexandria, VA, I’m excited to see what is going to become of this ‘landmark’ decision.

Today, our nation’s highest court is also going to make a landmark decision of it’s own, and I’m even more excited to see where that decision is going to take this country that we all love and call home.  

Now it will come as no surprise to some of you that I am have some strong opinions on what the court’s decision should be.  At my denomination’s national meeting last year, I took my alloted two minutes on the floor of the gathering to challenge the Presbyterian Church USA to stop following our culture, and start leading it — to boldly declare that new wisdom and movenents of the Holy Spirit were now calling our community and the rest of the world to recognize that same-gender marriage is not only NOT forbidden by God in Scripture, but in fact, like any committed marriage relationship, is a covenant relation that can bring honor to God! The church had the chance to redefine marriage, and become one of the first institutions in the world to speak a Godly truth, to powers and principalities that were rooted in a pious and puritanical homophobia.

But we didn’t!  Instead of taking the lead in choosing love and not fear, the denomination that I love so much chose to wait for someone else to seek justice and to love mercy.  Afraid that any actions that challenged the staus quo might cause further decline in our numbers, commissioners clung to the past and closed their eyes to the ‘new thing’ that God is doing in our world today.

So now its the court’s turn to take a stand. And if they declare DOMA unconstitutional, and make it legel for ALL Americans to enjoy God’s gift of marriage, then once again it will be our culture that is setting the course for this nation, instead of the church.

No don’t get me wrong! I’m content when anyone takes the lead in speaking God’s truth to the world today, even when they may not know it is God’s truth that they are speaking! But how I wish it could be the church — the group that claims it is committed to seeking and doing God’s will . . . the community that proclaims it’s mission is to love God and neighbor . . . the body that declares it is all about living in world where justice flows down like waters.

On more than one occassion I have been accused of allowing my walk to become warped by the world. I have been accused of caving in to the culture, and neglecting God’s Word as I seek to live out my faith. But that is not what has happened to me at all! My walk hasn’t been ‘warped’ by the world; it has heard the Spirit speaking through the world because the Church had silenced it. I’ve not caved in to my culture, I’ve heard Christ speaking through my culture and saying what the Church was failing to say! And I never want to neglect God’s Word, but rather I allow the Word to continue to speak newness of life into my old ways of thinking and being.

The church has let so many people down, and for so long, that today I am hoping for the courts so speak up and take a stand. Today I am hoping that they have the courage to give us a Word from God, the courage to give us the justice for which so many are yearning. I pray they will stand on the side of love, not fear, and do what needs to be done. The time is now. A landmark decision is needed. So in this decision, may the Spirit breathe on us all, and bring a fresh sense of beauty, relevance and newness of life, to the institution of marriage.

My dad has taught me many things in my 52 years; and even as he makes his way through his 76th year I’m sure he still has a few nuggets of wisdom left to share. But the thing that I think I will always appreciate the most is his commitment to excellence. If anyone has pushed me to become the best that I can be – it is my dad. His words – “those who fail to plan, plan to fail”; “if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right”; and most recently, “significant is more important than success” – have always challenged me, and pushed me, and inspired me to truly become the man God created me to be. And I’m so thankful for that. In a world that often accepts mediocrity as the norm, my dad has always encourage me to strive for something more.

Now at times, the pressure to achieve and accomplish was overwhelming. I tend to be my own best critic, and am extremely hard on myself. And over the years my high expectations of others has often led to a great deal of disappointment. Sometimes I reach too high, run too fast, and push too hard. And that is when fall back on the most important thing my mother has taught me over the year. And that is this – excellent or not, you are deeply loved!

Amy Grant’s latest CD has a song titled “Don’t Try So Hard” – with chorus that goes like this. “Don’t try so hard. God gives you grace and you can’t earn it. Don’t think that you’re not worth it. Because you are! He gave you his love and he’s not leaving, gave you His Son so you’d believe it. He loves you even with your scars. Don’t try so hard.”

I think this is the most significant thing that I’ve learned from my mother! Yes, we all need to strive to be all that God longs for us to be, but divine love is not dependent upon any of it! And neither is the love of any good parent!

Perhaps this is why parenting is a joint venture – there are many things we need to learn in life, and it is simply not good for any of us to be alone. We need families, and churches, and communities, to help us become all that we were meant to be. But while I am thankful for all of those people who have blessed my life, today, I am most grateful for my parents. Together, they have made me the person I am. And while I’m not perfect, I strive for excellence in all that I do, and know that I am loved no matter what.

Thanks Mom and Dad – and Happy Mother’s and Father’s Day!

Distracted
Sometimes, it feels like my living is getting in the way of my being!
The past two months have been extremely hard for me and my family. Life has been hectic and living has been exhausting. Leaving Stone House Presbyterian Church in Williamsburg, VA so that we might respond to God’s ‘calling’ to Mount Vernon Presbyterian Church in Alexandria, VA meant that both my wife and I had to give up jobs that we loved. We had to say goodbye to friends who were like family, and a community that felt like home. Moving meant that we had to pack up a house that was full of our children’s elementary, middle, and high school memories; where countless birthday, graduation, holiday, and pool parties were held; and whose walls had embraced bountiful Thanksgiving dinners, joyful Christmas mornings, and hope-filled Easter brunches. It meant leaving behind favorite coffee shops, infamous ‘house dressing,’ ‘quirky’ gift stores, and long walks on DOG Street. We had finally lived in a place long enough to know the people that we met on the streets, and where every corner, store, or annual event had a story behind it. But now it was time to move, and in a sense, start all over again.
Today, we’re living in an exciting new community, and already beginning to feel at home in a wonderful new church. We’ve closed on a beautiful townhouse, and the boxes are all unpacked and the pictures are hung. We’re slowly learning our way around and a sense of being settled has . . . well . . . settled upon us. Relationships and memories are obviously going to take some time, and I still don’t know who makes the best Chai latte in town; but life is slowly quieting down and both my wife and I are feeling like we can breathe (and sleep!) again.
So where have the last two months gone? Why has the frenetic pace of my living been so burdensome? Why have I found myself so distracted by the practical trivialities of the last eight weeks of my life that I’ve been unable to stop and consider the deeper issues of family, friendship, and faith? Why have I been so consumed by the daily responsibilities of changing ministries – leaving well and starting fresh – that I’ve neglected to consider what the Spirit was doing IN me, and TO me, and to reflect on the deeper issues of growth, and discipleship, and obedience? Why have I not been reading, or writing, or reflecting? Why have I not been doing all of those life-giving things that normally make my days so rich and fulfilling? Why have I felt as though all my “living” has resulted in my neglecting my “being?”
Well . . . the answer is relatively easy. Sometimes, that’s just the way life is! Sometimes living DOES get in the way of our being. And the more I think about it, such times are really nothing more than times when our being is exposed and expressed. It’s really NOT that our living is getting in the way of our being, as much as it is that there are times in all of our lives when the rubber meets the road, and ‘who we be’ comes out in ‘how we live!’
And that’s what’s happened for me over these past two months. I have gone to the well, and drunk deeply of all the growth that I’ve experienced over the past 13 years. The Spirit of God has melted and molded me, fractured and fired me , reshaped and remade me; and for the past 8 weeks I’ve found strength, and courage, and hope, that I never knew I had. My “being” had been recreated for my “living,” and I’m confident that’s how it is for all of us.
Living is not a distraction. It’s why we were created. And during those ‘average’ days, when we’re just doing what we always do – when life is relatively easy and nothing appears to be changing – we need to be feeding our “being,” so that when the challenges come, our “living” does not overwhelm us. Our living should never get the way of our being, but rather it should be shaped by our being. And our being, while not necessarily shaped by our living, is refined and reflected in our living.
So wherever you are on your journey, be mindful of both your being AND your living. See the relationship between the two, that both might each day, point to the one we call God, and reflect the character and nature of the one we call Christ.