Another ‘Modest Proposal’ – Build the Wall!

8 01 2019

swiftBecause mine is a faith that is all about change and development, let me here and now confess to the transformation of my thinking with regard to the truly American desire to build a wall along our southern boarder; and in the spirit of Jonathan Swift, to offer our divided government a twenty-first century “Modest Proposal.”

Where Swift, in 1729, satirically suggested that “the impoverished Irish might ease their economic troubles by selling their children as food for rich gentlemen and ladies”; so do I, here and now, propose that America, similarly threatened by “immigrants and their children who are becoming a burden” to our country, build a wall in order to keep out all who would try to enter illegally.  This proposition is born in a desire to reduce crime, to increase the number of jobs available to Americans, and in no small way to maintain the type of society that for 243 years has served to make America great!

Although the CATO Institute, one of America’s top-ten “think tanks”, reported in 2018 that that both undocumented and legal immigrants commit far less crime that native born American citizens, why would anyone believe an organization that has the word “think” in its description? We are all familiar with the comment made by Iowa Representative Steve King back in 2005, that “since 9/11 more than 63,000 violent crimes had been committed by illegals aliens.”  The statistic has been proven false over and over again, and King is known to be the one member of Congress who consistently makes false, racist and xenophobic comments; but why be troubled by the facts . . . especially when we can politicize the tragic killings of Brandon Mendoza and Mollie Tibbetts by illegals. The image of a wall ‘protecting’ American boarders and keeping unwanted criminals out, gives us a sense of security and makes us all feel safe.  And who doesn’t make important decisions solely on the basis one one’s . . . feelings?  So let’s build the wall: an attractive barrier, made of either concrete, or steel beams if that is more appealing to the majority of Americans.  However let’s build these barriers not just along our southern boarder with Mexico, but in other places as well.

What I call “The Great Wall of the South” is merely Part 1 of my “Modest Proposal”!  Part 2 involves building a second wall around the state of Florida: a state with one of the highest percentages of undocumented workers in the country, AND a state with one of the highest number of citizens over the age of 65.  The goal here is to prevent any new illegals from moving to the Sunshine State, and hopefully to encourage illegals already there to leave!

Now this will undoubtedly force residents of the state to begin to better care for one another, but that is the job of the church and other social services organizations.  The government’s job is to protect and secure American territory and that is what this wall is designed to accomplish.  Fewer immigrant workers may mean that there will be fewer people to care for residents of nursing homes and retirement facilities, to cut grass and meet the landscaping needs of residents, and to work in the states two most important industries, namely agriculture and tourism.  However accommodations will be made Grandma’s inability to pick oranges as quickly as younger workers, and Grandpa’s need for riding lawn mowers to cut grass.  It is essential that we never incentivize illegal entry with jobs — regardless of the fact that they are jobs Americans appear to believe are beneath them.  Eventually, due to excessive immigrant populations, similar state fencing will also be placed around the states of California and New York; and fencing around the state of Texas should also follow,  for countless other reasons not addressed in this proposal!

Part 3 of my “Modest Proposal” involves Floating Water Fences, or FWFs; and will be placed around the Ports of New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago.  This fencing will be made of coals panels, at least 35 feet high, and made of coal from West Virginia’s reopened coal mines.  Netting attached to the bottom of the panels shall prevent penetration of anything under the surface of the water, and the coal panels shall prevent penetration from anything above the surface of the water.  The FWFs in Los Angeles and New York will prevent any further immigration from points south of the United States of America, and Chicago’s FWF shall prevent entry from any immigrants coming from our socialist, Trudeau-loving neighbors to the north.

Finally, Part 4 of this proposal involves asking the CATO Institute to determine the exact percentage of illegals committing any kind of crime in this country, and then building walls around any American city that has that very same percentage of . . . yes . . . white males!  (This has nothing at all to do with illegal immigration but rather is all about keeping America safe again!)  Since the vast majority of mass shootings in this country are carried out by Caucasian men, keeping our nation safe should involved walling them into the cities where they congregate, and no longer allowing them to freely move around the country where they might force their dis-ease upon an innocent population.  Granted, this may adversely affect those few non-violent men that exist in these cities, as well as other non-White-male residents; but we also need to put safety and security first, always before freedom and liberty!

I conclude by declaring that I am well aware that ‘walls turned sideways become bridges.’  But American is our home.  And homes require walls, not bridges!  I am also well aware that ‘this nation was built by immigrants,’ but those immigrants were from places like Ireland, Italy, Germany, and Denmark: and they were people who looked like us, worshipped like us, thought like us, and dressed like us.  Such people will still be permitted to to come to our shores, for who would NOT want to leave the mere ‘happy’ places of Europe, for a country where 20-year-olds are burdened by student loan debt and 70-year-olds are burdened by the cost of prescription drugs and health care?  But all other immigrants will be denied entry!

Most importantly, I am also well aware that to some, the building of walls may not be very Christ-like.  But Jesus told us to respect our government, and to honor our leaders.  And if we fail to adequately guard and protect the boarders of this Christian nation for which so many have given their very lives, we may not have a nation to guard and protect very much longer.  Which is why walls are the only way for us to to move forward.

Therefore, be it resolved that on this day, January 8, 2019, as our nation prepares to hear the wise and thoughtful words of a beloved president, let’s stand together as a purple country, and accept this twenty-first century “Modest Proposal.”

Build the wall!

Build lots of walls!

For this is what will make America great again!



2 responses

8 01 2019
Jenny Rake-Marona

Amen! Thank you for this very thoughtful contribution to our national dialogue!

8 01 2019
Melinda Mason

Well done.

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