Bob's Blog

I found the ‘Letter to Chad’ in an old file, but have no idea where I got it! It was written by a Chad Holtz, but I can’t find much about him online; so this is the extent of the credit that I can give him. Apparently, his words resonated with me when I first read them, because I saved them. But rereading them today has me on my knees! I find myself wanting to echo his sentiments, but with my own words. So here goes:

Dear Bob,

Oh how you have changed! When I look at the man you are today, I can’t believe how far you’ve come: as a husband, father, and pastor, but most of all as a follower of Jesus! Because of that which can only be attributed to the work of what we call the Holy Spirit, you are no longer who you once were; and for that you should give great thanks. Not that you were a bad guy then, or that you still don’t have a long way to go now, but your growth is testimony to the transforming power of God.

Relationally, you have come to better understand the partnership that we call marriage; and the self-giving love that you’ve seen in your wife for 37 years has clearly rubbed off on you! “Head of the house” talk has given way to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” talk, and your arrogant patriarchy continues to be confessed, rejected, and avoided whenever possible.

While you are sadly, unable to raise your kids again, your interaction with your granddaughters reveals one who no longer equates respect with fear, and one who avoids displaying a love that in any way needs to be earned. In many ways your children became the beautiful people that they are today ‘in spite of your parenting’, and not ‘because of it!’ Fortunately, your interaction with them now, and your interaction with their children (and dogs!), continues to develop and mature.

And when it comes to your ministry, and your faith . . . well, where do I even begin? Open and affirming? Woke? Seeker of justice and lover of mercy? Community builder and peace maker? Who could have imagined your ever coming to the point where you would acknowledge that in the end, the Gospel is about loving God by loving neighbor. And all that ‘steeply climbing’ that was once so important to you, that whole measuring success by buildings, budgets, and butts (in the pew!): all of that seems to be gone! You’re not afraid of hell. You don’t believe that virgins give birth. And you don’t make an idol of the Bible. But you still love Jesus, and that’s what needs to remain central to our our faith!

As a result of this, and so much more, you’re emotionally and spiritually healthier than you’ve ever been. I know you continue to grieve all the ‘false teaching’ that you shared with so many people over the years, especially all the young people you ministered to in Young Life and in your first church, but fortunately you know that God is bigger than you! So today, you’re secure in who you are, and no longer interested in trying to impress anyone! (Sometimes I have to laugh because I can even see it in the way you dress: the way you’ve exchanged ties for t-shirts, and leather wing-tips for bamboo Allbirds!)

But here’s the thing Bob. There are still lots of people out there who look more like the person you were yesterday, than the person you are today! And those people – they’re not bad! And they’re certainly not all evil! Are they misguided? Perhaps. Have they been misled? No doubt. But many of them love Jesus as much as you do. And they’re just afraid. Most of their lives they’ve been taught to fear things . . . God, those who don’t look like them, and change . . . especially all the changes that are taking place in our world. And change is hard, for all of us. But they really don’t like it! So they’re going to resist it until their life experiences help them to discover a different way . . . a better way.

So until that time, remember to be kind. Resist the temptation to repay their vitriol, with words and attitudes that fail to reflect the growth you’re enjoying. And do everything you can to model for them the peace, trust, and security that are so central to your new way of being in this world. You can’t show them contempt, or they’ll dig in their heels in harder. And if you’re condescending when you speak with them, they’ll avoid you at all cost. So when they try to cut you out of the kindom and tell you that you’re backsliding . . . when they mishandle information and misrepresent your beliefs . . . and when they become violent and call you names . . . in all these situations, remember to somehow, try to show them the love of Jesus!

Bob, you cannot change this world. Yes, you CAN change your little corner of it, and you should never cease to be the prophet that you’re called to be. But in the end, you need to . . . as the saying goes . . . be the change you wish to see!

So, in the words of 1 Peter 3: try to see the unity of spirit. Show sympathy and love for others. Always maintain a tender heart, and a humble mind. And repay no one with evil, but rather with a blessing. For it is this, to which we have been called.

With much love and grace, all because of Him, Bob